I know who I'm not
by Nagiru
Summary: The TARDIS meddles, the Doctor tries to find herself in her past, and Yaz just keeps her company. Sometimes, that's all one needs, though.


**I know who I'm not**

_The Doctor spun in place, looking at herself in the mirror again, before sighing. "I guess bow ties really aren't so cool, huh…" She muttered, but thankfully pulled at it, letting it slip to the ground._

**.**

**A/N:** Title from "Jupiter" by Sleeping at Last ("I don't know who I am, but now I know who I'm not"). I thought it fit the Doctor quite well (... well, I do think most songs by them fit Doctor Who in a way or another, but).

Anyway, I about the story. I just had the idea one of these days; I wanted some funny, fluffy DW stories (because I always make them angsty, one way or another), and I thought the Doctor trying on her past clothes would be quite cute and funny. Then, I realized that if I wrote it from the Doctor's point of view it would not be fluffy, but pure angst, so. Yaz came in!

I think I made Yaz have just a tiny bit of a crush on the Doctor, in the process. Uh... well, happened.

**DISCLAIMER: Doctor Who and the characters are not mine.**

**.**

* * *

Yaz looked around curiously; she had seen the TARDIS parked on the street in front of her house and thought the Doctor would be waiting for her, maybe Ryan and Graham too, despite not a single message having reached her… but, no. She entered the TARDIS with no trouble — which had furthered her theory of being expected — but there was no one in the console room. No Ryan, no Graham, no _Doctor_.

"Doctor?" Yaz called, just to be sure, but no answer was forthcoming.

She stepped further in, still looking around in askance. Behind her, the doors snapped shut on their own, and Yaz frowned.

"Is the Doctor around…?" She asked warily, remembering how the alien insisted on telling them that the TARDIS was indeed alive, thank you very much. In response, the lights on the inner corridor lightened up, and Yaz blinked again. "Uh… Okay…?"

She followed the lights, wary but willing to trust the TARDIS, since the Doctor seemed to love it very much.

The lightened path guided her through twists and turns she had never seen before, and it stopped before a closed door she never even knew existed.

"Doctor?" She called, cautiously.

There was no verbal answer, but the door opened to her touch smoothly, and Yaz wondered if it was another ploy of the TARDIS, or just something the Doctor had planned.

She stepped in, and decided it was _definitely_ the TARDIS's fault.

Before her a veritable _ocean_ of clothes sprawled over the room, covering furniture and the floor and even the _ceiling_, somehow. There was a hanging light bulb, for some reason, but it, too, was covered by clothes. So were the places _supposed_ to have clothes, Yaz realized with a snort of amusement.

The whole place was just filled to bursting, yet it somehow contained it more or less neatly (if you called the fact it wasn't sprawling _out_ of the room "neatly"). More of the magic that kept the TARDIS bigger on the inside, she supposed.

"Doctor?" She called yet again. As they said, third time is the charm.

From somewhere deep in the room, possibly from behind the dangerously tilted pile of red-ish clothes, the Doctor called back, excitedly, "Yaz!"

Yaz tried to make her way through the mess — it… wasn't _as_ hard as she had expected. Somehow, there was still some paths in between the piles of things, and it… worked. In a way. And it seemed to be coordinated. She wasn't entirely sure _how_, since it _wasn't_ color-coordinated, as she first thought, but… there was _some_ logic behind it, anyway?

"Hey," she greeted again, walking around the pile of red-ish things that weren't actually red as she had first thought, but did, indeed, have a majorly red hue, at least.

And then stopped shocked, because, what?

_What?_

"Hello, Yaz! What are you doing here?" The Doctor answered chirpily, spinning in place in front of a mirror wall, and that would be _fine_, except she wasn't wearing her usual clothes for once, and Yaz…

Yaz kind of wished she was back in them, because she had never thought the Doctor could have _worse_ of a fashion style?

"What are you doing…?" Yaz questioned warily, staring at the… thing the Doctor was wearing. It was… a tweed jacket and bowtie combo, and it looked… it looked…

_Ridiculous_.

She snorted, trying and failing to hide her laughter, and the Doctor looked up with a small pout, head tilted to the side.

"What? I thought it looked good on me. I mean, maybe not as much, anymore. Doesn't suit me that well, now, does it?" She shook her arms, sleeves slipping over her hands from where they had been bundled up. "And the color is all _wrong_. I think my Victorian ones would suit me more, I think… I like long coats."

Yaz giggled, and managed to hold her breath long enough for the laughter to subside for a while. "Y-You mean, it's all _yours_?" She asked, gesturing around them.

The Doctor followed her gesture with her eyes. "What? The clothes? No, of course not." Yaz breathed out in relief. "Not all, at least. Many of them belonged to my friends. Or River. I think there are some dresses from River around here…"

Whoever this River was, Yaz hoped she had a better fashion taste than the Doctor, because the Doctor had this _look_ in her eyes that suggested she _dearly_ wanted to try those out.

"So, these clothes…" Yaz asked, gesturing to the get-up the Doctor was wearing.

"Oh, yeah, mine. I used to wear them… two faces ago." The Doctor explained, grinning. "Really tall bloke. Had a bit of a chin problem, unfortunately. And an eyebrow problem. I really lucked out this time; my eyebrows are _normal_, for once! The last two faces were _awful_ for that, wow." She paused, and shook her head. "But good-looking, I think. My friends seemed to think so, at least. And River. Jack would have liked it, too, I guess, but I never saw him like that. Shame."

The Doctor was rambling, and still wearing those stupid, too long clothes that looked like something an old college professor would use, and Yaz just. Couldn't.

She laughed again. "Please, _please_, Doctor, could you change clothes?"

The Doctor spun in place, looking at herself in the mirror again, before sighing. "I guess bow ties really aren't so cool, huh…" She muttered, but thankfully pulled at it, letting it slip to the ground.

For some reason, she had a really strange look on her face as she did so, and Yaz kind of thought it would be best to give her some privacy.

Especially when she proceeded to unbutton her shirt with no care for the fact that Yaz was standing _right there, wow_.

Yaz spun around, flushed, and put a hand over her eyes just to be sure, not knowing if the Doctor would, don't know, _prance_ around naked or, or _something_, and, uh.

"So… you never answered what you're doing here." The Doctor commented. "Not that I'm complaining! Just, thought you wanted some break?"

Yaz blinked behind her hand, frowning slightly in concern. "That was one week ago?"

"Oh." The Doctor made, barely a whisper. Then, louder. "Oh! Sorry, I went for a small adventure on my own, testing out the waters, and tried to get back a minute after I left. I never realized…"

Yaz felt relieved, knowing she _hadn't_ abandoned them, after all, and smiled. "Yeah, we had considered your poor driving abilities. Still, nice to have it confirmed," She laughed. "But, well, to answer, I saw the TARDIS, thought you had returned to take us to see more of the universe, and came to see you. The TARDIS let me in, so. Here I am."

There was some shuffling, then Yaz felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned around, peeking with one hand cautiously before opening them up when it became clear the Doctor _was_ dressed.

"I'm glad she did," the Doctor murmured, smiling slightly. Then, she stepped back, spinning in place with her arms held out. "So? What do you think?"

"You look like a magician," Yaz blurted before she could even think about it. "I— Sorry!"

The Doctor laughed, cheerful. "Don't worry, that's not the first time I hear that."

This time, she was wearing a velvet jacket with red interior, and a white dress shirt. Again, it was a tid bit too long, and it hung off her all weird, but she wore it with pride, her chin tilted back and her earrings glinting sharply under the room lighting.

"I still think it's nice, though," the Doctor murmured, caressing the velvet of her jacket lightly. "Feels good. Also, red is a nice color. Doesn't suit me too much, anymore, but. Nice." She paused, blinked. "Do you think I'd look good in purple?"

Yaz startled, not expecting the question, but thought about it. The Doctor's coat _was_ kind-of purple-ish, wasn't it? And… well, she'd probably look good in mostly _anything_, really, even these ridiculous clothes. They didn't fit her, so they looked utterly _awful_, but if they were fitted for _her_, it wouldn't… be _so _strange, Yaz thought. She'd look… kind of cute, maybe.

She wasn't telling her friend that, though. For… too many reasons.

"I think so." She answered, in the end. "Why?"

The Doctor grinned broadly, wriggling her fingers. And then started pulling her clothes off _again_, and Yaz yelped, closing her eyes quickly, another blush creeping on her face.

"Tell me when you're going to do that _first_!" Yaz asked, flustered.

The Doctor laughed, cheerful and charming. "Said it once, will say it again; if you're bothered, look away."

She choked on her own tongue, because _she had certainly never said that to her!_ But, well, it made sense. But Yaz _was_ looking away, it just would have been nice to know it in advance!

"I'm dressed again." The Doctor announced a couple minutes later.

Yaz looked at her, and she was now wearing a mismatched composition of a leather jacket, that same long, rainbow scarf from New Year, a dress shirt (with _question marks_? Were those _question marks_ on the cuffs that peeked from under the leather jacket? And on the collar?), and a jeans miniskirt. It looked… very, _very_ bizarre.

"Uh… what's… that?" She asked at last, gesturing in the Doctor's general direction.

"I got tired of trying on the whole things, so I decided to try parts!" The Doctor declared, grinning broadly. When she bounced in place, Yaz realized she wasn't barefoot anymore, either; now wearing a strange pair of sneakers that looked too large for her.

"And this is… uh… yours, too?" Yaz questioned, because, really. _Really_.

The Doctor nodded, humming. "Well, kind of." She explained. "The jacket is from four faces ago. Or five? Ah, well, _some_ faces ago. Was in a bit of a moody place, then. The sneakers — and they are _not_ sandshoes," she added in a mutter, "are from three faces ago. Was a huge narcissist then, wow. I took _forever_ to do my hair, _every day_! The shirt is… from _way_ too far in the past. And the skirt used to belong to a friend."

Again, she was smiling that same strange, sad-ish smile, and Yaz just wanted to make her _better_, damn it.

"Well, you look nice." She said, trying to make the Doctor smile. "Strange. But, nice. I mean, it's weird to put them all _together_, but you look good in short skirt, I guess. And leather jacket."

It worked. The Doctor's smile turned more similar to her usual one, more bright, her laugh just a little bit more honest, and she shrugged off the jacket to hold it aloft. "Well, I guess that's one thing Ears had. His taste wasn't _too_ bad."

Ears, Chin, Angry Scottsman, Narcissist… Yaz wondered about the Doctor's past, if that's what she calls them.

"I think I have a purple coat somewhere…" The Doctor mumbled, looking around. "A long skirt would be nice, too… and the dresses…"

Yaz settled down, finding one chair behind her she was _sure_ wasn't there just a couple minutes ago. This wasn't an adventure, but, well — here was the Doctor, grinning and talking about herself (somewhat, at least), and letting Yaz _see her_, see her as she was even, and Yaz wouldn't toss the opportunity out, nor would she spit on the gift she was being offered.

The Doctor wanted some company while she reminisced about her past? Yaz would be here. For as long as she wanted.

_Laughing herself silly, maybe_, she added as the Doctor bounced back wearing a long, Mary Poppins' like skirt and boots together with a purple vest and a long rainbow coat, _but here_.

**.**

(The Doctor did _not _look good as a Mary Poppins reject, Yaz discovered. River, though, whoever that was, certainly had _good taste_ in clothing, she discovered later that day. The dress was a bit too long and a bit too loose on the Doctor's chest, but it looked _good_. Proper good, too, not "she's so awkward she's cute", as the Doctor usually looked. It was… well. Well, Yaz certainly approved of her choices, whoever this woman was.)


End file.
